Thursday, September 09, 2010

If you ever wanted to know...

If you were ever curious why I smile so much....here is a sample of Sweetie Man's sense of humor...(keep in mind he did not make these up but it is SO him)....

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a
head.'

12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

14. A backward poet writes inverse.

15. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

16. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .

17. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm
sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

18. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

19. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving
once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

20. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies,
'Yes, I'm positive.'

21. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental
medication.

22. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make
them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Till next time, yinz crazy puns!!!

4 Comments:

Deneen said...

If this is a repeat, sorry Blogger issues today. Sense of humor is important. Laugh daily, laugh always, it keeps you young.

Katie said...

LOL Can you please email this list to me. I'm dying laughing but I can't print them right on the site. Thanks dragonsluver@frontier.com

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

Hee, hee! That is funny!

Sue said...

I like the hat one!