T-shirt Titles!

Okay.....one of my blog buddies Karen, aka Ticcatacca, aka Roxy, aka Shabby Chic.....put a T-shirt saying on her blog the same day that I got one of THOSE magazines in the mail giving you a ton of T-shirt sayings (ya know what I'm talkin' about?). Well, I decided to go through the mag and give you my top T-shirt sayings...keep in mind there are certain people that I would love to wear some of them in front of whose names shall remain in the depths of my brain (what there is left of it!) So enjoy the read and think "T-shirts"....(these are in no particular order)

1. Is it me or is this place a festival of idiots
2. My Indian name is Runs with Beer
3. With luck and planning, I'll retire at 149
4. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
5. Things you say are called "opinions". Things I say are called "facts".
6. Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you're abusing the privilege
7. I drive way to fast to worry about cholesterol
8. If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard
9. Instant Human....Just add Coffee
10. I'm sick of being my wife's arm candy
11. You bet your pierogi I'm Polish!
12. If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will?
13. You complete me with Beer
14. Any minute now I'll jump in with pointless observations
15. Keep talking. Don't let my snoring stop you
16. If I had feelings, you'd be hurting them right now
17. I get your point...and it's stupid
18. Looks like your airbag didn't deploy in time
19. Just keep talking like I was here
20. So...when did you get out?
21. First the good news...I made bail.
22. I'm an artist....what's your excuse
23. I have no idea what I'm doing out of bed
24. My inner child thinks you're a big poopy face
25. I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk
26. It's better to have loved & lost than to live with the psycho the rest of your life
27. Karma means, you owe me big time
28. What part of MOOOOOOOAHAHAHAHAHA don't you understand?
29. Most of the people who drive me nuts are in my family
30. Et Tu Dufus?
31. Now it can be told...Red Wine & White Wine taste the same to me
32. This IS my warm and sensitive side
33. If what I say makes sense, we both have a problem
34. Who needs a Therapist? I have my Sister!
35. Please don't genuflect...it embarrasses me
36. CAUTION: You are in the "Whatever" Zone
37. As a pathological liar, I resent that
38. My other children are well-behaved!
39. I had a nice day and I didn't like it
40. So life has a hill. Get over it!
41. No need to yell. I still won't listen.
42. King Toot
43. Embarrassing my children; Just one more service I offer
44. Things to do today: 1. Get Up 2. Survive 3. Go Back To Bed
45. Home of the FREE....Because of the Brave
46. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
47. Age doesn't matter if you have money. (oh, crap)
48. I'm just friggin PEACHY!
49. With a body like this, who needs hair?
50. Am I getting older or is the supermarket playing great music?
51. Mess with me and you mess with the whole trailer park
52. You should slip into something comfortable...like your car and leave
53. Well butter my butt and call me biscuit...look whose here
54. Careful, or you'll end up in my novel
55. Shut up Voices...or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again!

.....and last but not least, my favorite:
56. Don't make me poison your Dinner!

Okay, that's it for tonight! Hope you enjoyed those sayings. If you want to read more or order a T-shirt, the website for the catalog is www.whatonearthcatalog.com

Till tomorrow.....