Universal Truths....

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

2. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

3. There is great need for a sarcasm font

4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

5. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

6. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

7. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

8. Bad decisions make good stories.

9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

10. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don't want to have to restart my collection..again.

11. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

12. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay

13. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it

14. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up
to prevent an ass from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters

19. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

20. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time,
every time! YEP that's me! I love my snooze button