Last Post...

Don't panic....just the last post for 2006! Had to get one more in before the New Year begins in three hours! Yinz, guys be safe tonight.....re-read that resolution list......and kiss someone you love (okay, like) at midnight!!! (unless you did already!) See yinz, guys, next year!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! (WOO-HOOOOO!)

Today is the day!!!!!

Oh, yeah...Today is the day Chloe gets her stitches out!!!! WOOOO-HOOOOO! Her lump has gone down alot and she is ready to rock!!!! No more hoods...no more pills....no more anything!!! I love when a plan comes together!!!!!
Okay...now that I got that out of the way, I hope your holidays are as great as mine. I consider it "holiday time" until January 5 when the tree comes down! I got some cool gifts from Santa too! Like this really really nice Starbuck Barista Coffeemaker (I'm still learning how to use it tho)

And the coffee (Starbucks brand of course) is ahhhhhhhh MAGNIFICO!!!!!
As well as all this neat stuff...(note the nice JoAnn Gift Card....oh, yeah!)

That little knobby thing at the bottom left is a piece of Polish pottery made into a wine cork. This type of clay is only found in Poland and handmade. I own a couple of other pieces also....wonderful to have being as I'm from 100% Polish ancestry.

This next gift is from my son(can't wait to wear this to my brother's house who is a die-hard University of Pittsburgh fan...hee-hee...probably won't let me in his house!)

And this nice stash.....
I musta been a goooooood girl!!!!
Christmas Eve we went to church then enjoyed some tasty hor'd oeuvres made by the Sweetie Man. Christmas Day we just chilled and the Sweetie Man made a delicious Cornish Hen dinner for all of us(which I forgot to take pics of). Then throughout the week we are just enjoying the tree, playing with new stuff and just relaxing. Work has even been pretty slow and quiet as well.

I did manage to finish this up for my neighbor's new baby....
Just a little ornament. I haven't heard from her yet about it, so I hope they liked it. (she's into frogs!)

I'm still working on the cross stitch mastif...
Don't know when that will be done though. I wanted to give it to my neighbor before the holidays were over but it may be a little late. It's very addicting to work on....when I get in the mood to do something, I can't stop.
I got a cool bag from Santa too that holds yarn with holes in the top to bring the yarn through which I've already loaded with a project, a beautiful butterfly ring, a tea cup in the shape of a heart, some CD's, and a bunch of other really great things. Much more than I ever expected!!!
Other than going to work, I pretty much hibernate inside and do crafts. Tho, Sue at Good Yarns is giving me the itch to work on some jigsaw puzzles too!!!! My mind just doesn't want to stop lately!!! I almost hate to go to bed at night cause I'm having so much fun doing stuff!
Oh, well, that's it for now and the summary of our Christmas activities...gonna go do something fun besides blogging and enjoy the evening with the Sweetie Man! So, go find someone to slow dance with and enjoy the rest of my man, Rod! Till tomorrow, yinz guys!!!

Merry Christmas, All Yinz Guys!!!

FROM MY HOME TO YOURS.......

A BLESSED AND WARM HOLIDAY!

Just call me "Frosty"!

You Are a Snowman

Friendly and fun, you enjoy bringing holiday cheer to everyone you know!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

And I was tagged for a Meme...so you asked for it:

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1 Ward Clerk in a hospital
2. Restaurant Hostess/Cashier
3. Front Desk Clerk
4. Secretary (now and probably forever!)

4 MOVIES I HAVE WATCHED AND WOULD WATCH OVER AGAIN:
1. White Christmas
2. Easter Parade
3. Any OLD comedy series (Ma & Pa Kettle, Blondie..etc)
4. Just about any OLD musical

4 PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. 4 small towns in Pennsylvania near where I live now.

4 TV SHOWS I LOVE TO WATCH
1. Wife Swap
2. Cops
3. Nancy Grace
4. American Idol

4 PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION
1. Barbados
2. Florida
3. Michigan/Ohio
4. Maryland

4 OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. Pizza
2. Crab Legs
3. Sweetie Man's Spaghetti (actually anything he cooks)
4. Eating Breakfast Out Anywhere

4 OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS
1. anything by Jodi Picoult
2 Elm Creek Quilts Novels byJennifer Chiaverini
3. Monica Ferris mysteries
4. Debbie Macomber books

4 FRIENDS I WANT TO DO THIS MEME
1. You
2. and You
3. mmmm....how about You
4. and last but not least...YOU!

It was all a little too perfect....

Yessiree....all just a little too perfect. The stockings were hung by the chimmney with care.....with a gate 'round the tree, the dogs didn't care! Life was good....presents were bought.....nothing left to do but enjoy the holidays........
That is until........"dun, dun, dun, duuuuuuuuun.......
....this seemingly harmless piece of plastic entered our lives.......

This piece of plastic that is reeking havoc in my once beautiful Christmas home!!!!!!
Looks harmless, doesn't it???? Oh, but it is until it turns into this.................

It seems that our sweet little Chloe, who last week endured the pain of having her womanly parts removed (a.k.a. spayed) is now having to put up with an E-collar and antibiotics. Poor little thing....BUT, because my furry little babies do not understand English (yet) they do not understand the reason for the E-collar. Katie the older dog could really care less (she's more interested in licking my tattoo which I avoid at all costs and Chloe's incision) but Eros, the mastador, thinks his best buddy has a fun toy around her neck...not good!!! Chloe's activity level (ultra-high) has caused her to have swelling in the stitched up area of her belly and when I wasn't looking, she's been picking at it despite my t-shirt contraption I rigged up on her (unbeknownst to my son whose undershirt she was wearing!). Anyway, till December 28, Chloe must wear this horrible collar. Not only does she constantly run into things, she cannot navigate up or down the stairs nor can she fit into her crate which causes another dilemma....where does she sleep? Eros will cry if her crate is not within viewing distance of his so I constructed a gated area between my diningroom table and my bookshelves next to his crate and covered like a tent. This is just nuts! When I brought her home from the doc yesterday, I started crying on the phone to Sweetie Man cause all the dogs where confused and crazed over this collar.....my son was laughing cause he said it made her look like a space alien! Plus, at the end of the evening, I have to somehow manage to put a warm compress on her incision to help with the swelling....yeah, right! I did manage to do it for a whole 3 minutes yesterday...woo-hoo!
I guess things could be worse....I can make light of it now cause I'm getting things a little organized with who goes outside when and such and if it makes Chloe better than I'll do it, cause they are my babies and I love 'em! And hey...if worse comes to worse, I can always put Chloe on the roof and see if I can get free satellite TV! Till tomorrow, yinz guys!

Finally finished....

Finally finished my flat bottom purse from the Happy Hooker book! Woo-hoo! It's going to be a present for a young lady in Maryland....the daughter of a friend of ours.

I must say that it is alot nicer than I had anticipated! It did use a little more yarn than the pattern called for but luckily my JoAnn's had it so I made a last minute run for it. I didn't have the yarn with me when I picked out the lining either but it matched up perfectly tho the picture didn't do it justice. Oh, and if you wonder what the little tag is in the purse, the Sweetie Man bought me a bunch of them and insisted I put them in things I make. He says I don't give myself enough credit for what I do. So, hence, the tag. (Lucy's Luxuries)

And being as I'm on a X-stitch kick, I thought I would show you a piece I did a long time ago. I sorta made up the frame and glued the X-stitch on a piece of round cardboard then surrounded the X-stitch with tiny pinecones, rafia, and those cinnamon gingerbread men that I molded myself. It has really held up over the years and I always thought it was so pretty.

This other thing I did was one of those glass block lights except this isn't glass it's plastic. Last year a craft store called "Pat Catan's" (great cheap place) had these blocks in plastic with the holes for the lights already in the bottom. All I did was find a pic I liked on the web, printed it on transparent sticky paper in my computer's printer and with a little glitter paint and some ribbon and of course a small string of light inside I have this cute decoration for my table. It really turned out nice.
You, can use the glass block from a Home Depot or whatever, but then again you have to drill the hole (big enough also to get the lights in) and that's a pain...trust me, I've tried it. I'm sure if you google plastic glass blocks or something like that, you can get them via internet.
Anyway, that's about it for here. Just doing decorating and crafting and a little baking and enjoying the holiday season....hope you are too, so, till tomorrow, yinz guys......

No puppies here....

And what I mean by that is that my little Terrier mix, Chloe, was spayed today. I felt so bad for her when I brought her home this evening. She is normally so incredibly active, running and jumping, but this evening she couldn't even make it up the steps. She was pretty drugged but all went well so they say. She has a two inch incision on her belly and I put her in a t-shirt to keep her from messing with it. When I brought her home she just went into her crate and laid there. Poor little thing. Eros, the mastador, was missing her today so much. She is the one who keeps him active and happy and she just wasn't around. He was sorta lost and kept wanting to go outside, probably thinking she was there. When she finally came home, he was so excited and wanted to play with her, but she of course wanted left alone...hence, I crated her. I'm sure she'll be a little more normal tomorrow. It's so funny how they become so attached to each other. My older dog, Katie, enjoyed the peace and quiet of not having Chloe jump around I think.
Anyway, with that said, I wanted to post the pics of the graduation of the two pups that we went to a few weeks back. First up is Chloe. As you can see in the second pic, she is smiling.....no more school....no more throwing up in the car on the way home...she was happy!

Eros was in his usual school position...laying down. The second pic is of the Sweetie Man with him playing one of the games we got to do that night. That one was carry the water and holding the leash at the same time.....Chloe and I flunked at this one!

So, that's about it for tonight.....just a little doggy talk. And just so you can't say this isn't a craft blog...I'm posting a pic of the Cal Pal crochet ornaments I made....penguins....aren't they cute! I received some awesome ones from the girls over there...almost all the ornaments on my tree are homemade, so it was a perfect match for me.


Oh, and one more thing....I switched to the Beta Blogger thing. I noticed that I couldn't leave comments on some people's blogs unless I signed up for a google account. No biggy actually, so if you can't do it on mine, sign up for one and you'll have the name and password for a comment.
Well, that's it for tonight...I'm pooped and I may be getting up in the middle of the night for a puppy who's not feeling so well (tho, I hope not) so I'm gonna hit the hay.....till tomorrow, yinz guys!

Whadda Weekend!!!!

I don't know even where to begin. I had an awesome weekend for my 50th Birthday! First I want to thank everyone who wished me a HAPPY 50th and those who sent me the great e-cards...you guys are the BEST!!!! Thank you soooooooooooooo much!
Let's see...the events started on Friday night when the Sweetie Man took me on a wonderful romantic Snowball Captain's Dinner Cruise on the Gateway Clipper's Majestic which sails the three rivers of Pittsburgh! That was wonderful...dining....dancing....and a "little" wine made it a perfect beginning for what turned out to be a perfect weekend! Here's the pic of the two of us on the boat.....
Saturday, of course, was the tatto party at Electric Line Tattoo. Great place....awesome people....we tattooed....we ate....and we toasted my 50th. This first pic is of me getting my tattoo.
It really wasn't that bad. Like a sunburn..and it's what most people say. The results are this......

It's still healing and needs to scab over so in the end it won't be as black and more yellow and gold will come out. It's a swallowtail butterfly teaching the monarch how to spread its wings. Sorta my own idea. The symbolism is the Sweetie Man teaching me to fly....to come out my cocoon and not be afraid to be who I truly am and to believe in myself and the beauty that each of us has in ourselves. It pretty much sums up our past seven years together, so it means alot to me. I may have two twigs of a butterfly bush put behind it later next year. But I'm very happy I got it!

I also got alot of wonderful gifts besides the dinner cruise and tattoo from my Sweetie Man, my son got me a coffee press and the absolute best thermos mug from Starbucks.....I love it....keeps my coffee hot for over 3 hours!!!! And the coffee press makes my coffee nice and bold and strong just like I love it!!!
My sister, my niece and my niece's husband sent me a dozen white roses and congratulated me for being an official member of the 5-0 Club (ha-ha!) The flowers are beautiful!!!! My neighbors brought champagne and pizza to the tattoo party along with Sweetie Man's shrimp and champagne as well as bringing a delicious chocolate cake to my house afterwards. Needless to say it was an awesome day with lots of great gifts from great people! The best 5oth Birthday I EVER had!!!!
I think I'm still recovering from the whole thing as I'm still a little wiped out and plan on hitting the bed early....I'll be heading for dreamland land and another fun-filled fifty day! So, till tomorrow, yinz guys......

NIFTY, NIFTY....LOOK WHO'S.........

50!!!!

ME...THAT'S WHO!!!!!

(at 11:13 A.M. EST in a small town outside of Pittsburgh Pennsylvania,

exactly 50 years ago.....this little cutie was born...

and the world got a little bit crazier!!!!

ALRIGHT NOW….EVERYBODY…SING ALONG WITH ME………….

(sung to the tune of “Happy Birthday” with some hold-over notes)

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY TO ME,
HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY TO ME,
HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY….(drag this part out) ENTERING THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE WITH....FINALLY GETTING MARRIED TO SWEETIE MAN…. AUNT BETTY SOON GOING AWAY PERMANENTLY (a k a Aunt Flo), TEENAGER BECOMING AN ADULT AND MOVING OUT OF THE HOUSE WITH KIDS OF HIS OWN THAT I CAN ENJOY WITHOUT TAKING THE FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY OF, (take a breath) GETTING 10% OFF ON SENIOR CITIZEN TUESDAY, GETTING TO BE A RED HAT SOCIETY MEMBER, (another breath) RETIREMENT IN 12 YEARS WHEN I CAN CRAFT ALL I WANT(last breath), AND GETTING A TATTOO WITHOUT ANYONE TELLING ME NOT TO WHICH I WILL……………….

…..HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

(BREATH!) ANY MANY MOOOOOORRRRRRE!!!!!

Have a great day, yinz guys....I know I will!!!!!!!!!

Happy "Almost 50" Birthday...

My "older" commardes at work treated me to an "almost 50" birthday party today at work. I'm off work on Friday this week and my birthday falls on Saturday so they surprised me by doing this today (Thursday). First I was greeted at the door with a wheelchair and everyone asking if I needed any help walking, breathing, etc....

Then we all ate some of this delicious cake with lovely gray and black icing....(I did blow out the candles first) made by a fellow employee!


They then got me some pretty crazy gifts....ya know, the ususal...fiber, gray-b-gone, over the hill pills, etc....and lots of balloons plus a annoying blinking pin I had to wear all day that told everyone I was turning 50!

It was fun!!! I got lots of visits from people in other offices telling me things like "I smell old people!" Actually they wanted to get me back as most of them are older than I am (not all) and I usually I am the one to tease them with old age comments so I guess I deserved it!
Oh, well, that's about all for today. So, till tomorrow...and my last official day in my 40's!!!!

When it rains it.......

POURS!!! My little sentence yesterday which pretty much described my yesterday is much better today...other than I let a box of Christmas decos fall in my face, punching me in the nose and causing it to bleed. But I'm okay now...not to worry!Everything that made me rant and rave is still around but I'm just dealing with it better. For instance (and I promise I won't drag this story out)....the laptop that was sent out for repair is missing in action....gone...zip...zilch!!! No one seems to know where it is.....then again, I could not understand the broken English of those whom I was speaking too when I was trying to find out why we don't have it back. So, needless to say, that was aggravation on top of aggravation! I'm sure the person/people on the phone were getting just as aggravted at me for constantly saying, "I'm sorry...could you repeat that...I don't undertand what you said!" Maybe someone else could make out broken English.....but I'm really bad at that.....I can barely make out good English! Anyway....the laptop is in limbo somewhere and I'm just going to have the Sweetie Man deal with it cause I'm through! I tried!
Okay, with that out of the way, someone did ask me where I got my snowflakes for the blog. I got them at the website Dynamic Drive. Check it out....if I can do it, anyone can!
Okay, now onto to cross stitch that I promised on the Cal Pal site I would show....I just get in these moods and go with it. Anyway, this first piece I started a couple of years or so ago....I sorta got sidetracked with a quilt that I decided to give as a gift so I may finish this piece for an upcoming wedding. It's very detailed with pearls and some stitches I'm not familiar with, but I love a challenge and it's actually not going to bad. I'll continue this one after the holidays.


This is an ongoing cross stitch that I want to have hanging in our pepper kitchen. It's very easy and I love the colors in it...another after the holidays project. It's not slanted I just took the picture wacky....


This one I've been doing forever and the colors on this are fabulous!!! So bright and vibrant! I really can't wait till I finish this one someday...soon I hope!

And this, my friends, is my Christmas project! It is going to be awesome. After taking this picture I can really see the image coming out. For those of you who don't know my dog story, one of my puppies, Eros (1/2 lab/1/2 mastif), came from my next door neighbor whose full British Mastif mated with the full black Lab...hence our cutie adorable 60 pounds and growing 4 1/2 lb. Mastador. Anyway, I want to give my neighbor (same one whose helping plan the tattoo party) the picture of the Mommy (British Mastif) who looks exactly like the completed cross stitch. It will be sorta like "To Momma Lily from your son, Eros"! I'm so excited about this one and I've been working on it daily! I did screw up a row in the face and I can't for the life of me find it to frog it so I'm just letting it go and try to work with it. If you have any other ideas, or if this has happened to you, let me know...misery loves company and it is bugging the heck out of me cause I tend to be a perfectionist with this stuff...


Anyway...thats about it for tonight. I was crocheting a little tonight also working on some kitchen scrubbers that are crocheted around to look like flowers...Annie's Attic Daily pattern. So I'm doing a little of everything I guess. Well, hope you enjoyed my long post and the pics. I'll keep you updated on the cross stitch progress also. If you want to know where some of the above patterns came from, I'll be glad to be of service to you. I have an awesome cross stitch store right in town...the kind that you walk in after not being there a year and they remember your name. I love it! Now I'm off to read and cross stitch and sleep....So till tomorrow, yinz crazy guys......

Question of the Day....

Why don't men believe PMS exists? ('nuff said)

Happy Feet.....

And these Happy Feet are happy to get the heck out of my house and onto the Cal Pal ladies for the ornament swap...better late than never!

I'll show you the complete picture next week after they are at their final destinations! Can you guess what they are??
And about my new look......thank you everyone for telling me how nice it looks. It's not really the look I wanted but it has the capability of having a few tweeks for each season till I get tired of it. I still have a few add ons like completing the blog roll thingy on the side. If you don't see your blog their don't panic till I tell you too...I'm still adding on.

Also, a BIG THANK YOU to Sue at Good Yarns for the ADORABLE Sock Monkey she sent me in the mail for my birthday!!!!
I love it!!!!! It will go on my tree and I may have to find a place for it in the house so I can have it up all seaons.....love those monkeys!!!
And speaking of my birthday, it's coming up next Saturday. As you know, or maybe you don't, I'm getting a tattoo to celebrate my 50th (cause I don't want to jump out of a plane!) . So my crazy neighbor is helping me plan this tatoo party believe it or not for myself. We went on Saturday to check the place out and meet the guy and look at some tattoos. It's a pretty new place and extremely clean and my neighbor had hers done there....he's a very good artist but sorta quiet, not what I expected; but then again I never met a tattoo artist. My neighbor is bringing a cake and some champagne and my Sweetie Man plans on bringing some shrimp. No drinking till after the tattoos are done though! We may have about ten people there....gosh, I haven't had a birthday party since I turned 16....this should be fun...and a bit strange, but so am I.
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. We sure did! The turkey was green and so were our faces.....

Okay, the turkey had some special pesto or something seasoning on it sorta like a Puerto Rican turkey....Sweetie Man lived in Puerto Rico for awhile and one of his good friends is from there. The turkey was DELICIOUS!!!!
And I made a couple of pies, one being Mincemeat as the Sweetie Man loves this kind. He thought it looked so picture perfect, he wanted to take a pic of it....so here it is.....


We had so much fun......after eating we played some board games and laughed till we could barely breath! Oh....and by the way....do not eat these..... They are little tiny bottles of chocolate filled with liquor.....very dangerous....immediately send them to me and I will dispose of them safely (tee-hee).
Then after following my son's advise and going with him to the outlet's on Black Friday, (not the best idea...but fun!) we pooped out Friday night and just chilled on Saturday playing games and doing facials (reason for the green-blue faces!) Well, only the girls did! I also had to finish some crafts for someone. Specifically these cuties....



Actually the only one was the big girl panties and I had to make 15 of them. So the Sweetie Man's daughter (my future step daughter) helped me finish those up which was a real blessing!
They are very easy to make and fun. They are made with roof flashing (can be bought cheaply at any building supply store)...I think I've made a billion of them. Check out this site for the directions....Quirky Sitting Ladies. Check out her website too for some ideas. So cute!!!!

After everyone left on Sunday, I rested pretty much all last week and did alot of laundry! So now it's onto putting up the Christmas decorations which will begin this week and the tree next weekend. Also back to the treadmill since as you may have noticed the three pound gain...don't worry, I'm not giving up....my son won't let me!
Hope you were able to get through my whole blog. I tend to ramble but I did want to give you to low-down on the absence of posts. Now that I'm caught up and things are back to normal, I'm hoping to be around a little more......my son is still hogging the computer but hopefully his will be back this week! So till tomorrow, yinz guys......

DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL....

I'm doing some needed housecleaning on my blog. Hang in there cause I'm still working on it!
Tootles, yinz guys!

A THANKSGIVING DAY PRAYER

So many blessings through the year
Bring joy and peace of mind
As loved ones gather in good cheer
Drawn by the ties that bind
The warmth that kindred spirits share
Fills hearts with love renewed
What better time to show we care
With acts of gratitude
Let's usher in the season new
A toast to you and me
As debt to those who serve is due
We're here, we're safe, we're free
The bounty present in our sight
In humble thanks we pray
Will gladden more than appetites
Tomorrow as today
Remember dear departed souls
Unite us all again
Give us strength to reach our goals
Watch over us,
AMEN

(This prayer will be read at our Thanksgiving Meal.....written by Ed, my Sweetie Man)
MAY YOU ALL HAVE A WARM AND WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!

A little change of pace

Hey, I don't know about you, but I do tend to change crafts every so often. I've always done alot of different crafts and enjoy trying out new things but I do have ones I especially like. Crocheting is of course one of them and I'm really getting hooked on knitting, but I do love my cross stitch. I've really been in the mood to do some and show some of the ones I'm working on. I've been also visiting some cross stitch blogs and adding them to my bloglines hoping to meet some people on that end. I've notice that some ladies in the Cal Pal I'm in do some cross stitch also. I really enjoy redwork too and have done some pillows on that end.
Well, anyway, on Saturday I happened to visit a great cross stitch shop a couple of miles from my house and that really put me in the mood. So much so that I got a incredible cross stitch of a Mastif which looks exactly like my Eros' mom who lives next door. I started it in hopes of giving it to my neighbors but I'm going to make it sorta like from Eros' to his mom for Christmas. I'm really excited about finishing it not that I don't have other WIP cross stitch projects to do....but I wouldn't be a true crafter if I didn't, I always say. Anyway, I thought I would show you a couple of pics of some completed projects I've done. This first one I did a long time ago but I've always loved the saying:



This second one was a gift to Sweetie Man. I made the frame from a dollar store frame with glued on sticks. I really like this one.

I have so many cross stitch patterns I want to do I can't even count. I especially love doing small ornament projects or ones you can make small stand up items that are stuffed. My fingers are itching.
On a different note, the puppies graduate next week...there will definately be pics on that. We are supposed to play some fun games with them so it will be a great time. We probably didn't do the homework as much as we should have, but we still got alot out of it, I think anyway. We still have work to do but at least we are headed in the right direction. And speaking of heads, my older dog, Katie, nipped little Chloe in the face the other day...it seems all the dogs were crowding in the doorway and things got a little tense. No blood but Chloe got a small abcess and lump near her eye and now she's on antibiotics and inflammatory medicines. Looks like it's healing already and she doesn't seem to mind the extra treats that the medicines are hidden in.
Oh, well, that's it for tonight. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm adding a few things here and there with the cross stitch and hope you can let me know a little about any cross stitching or needlework you do. I'll leave you with some adorable pics the Sweetie Man took of the "peeps" the other day.....enjoy! (it's hard to believe that Chloe, on the left, is 5 1/2 months old and Eros, on the right, is almost 4 months.......what have I gotten myself into????)